Wake up from your slumber Nairobi middle-class populace

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Kigali on the Left and Nairobi on the right.

Dear brethren,

Pardon me for interrupting your otherwise busy schedule, but the message I have is urgent, it can’t wait any longer. I want to tell you about Nairobi City. Our city is stinking. The stench is too strong that for us who can smell it, the stench is almost nauseating. The stench is of open garbage that is being dumped daily on our streets; it is the stench of uncollected litter that now decorate our city and the street defecation that has now returned to our streets.

There are now more street kids and street families on whichever alley of the road you turn to pass to than ever before. The town is unnavigable; it now takes almost an hour to drive from Muthaiga to town in the morning, traffic jam is ridiculous if not insane. But besides the stench that is emanating from the city’s uncollected garbage, there is still another stench that is pricking our nostrils. It’s sad that you guys have become so numbed and desensitised that you no longer pick the stench. That’s why today I want to talk to you about that second stench, the stench of Nairobi’s middle-class arrogance.

I am writing to you, to wake you from the deep slumber that you have fallen into – yes, you Nairobi’s middle-class populace. I don’t know whether it is the opulence that you are swimming in that has desensitised you, that you no longer even smell the strong stench of our decaying city. Nevertheless, I write to you, for I know the immense power that is held by your constituency. When I went back to consult my history on the French Revolution, Yuval Harari reminded me that it was not the famished masses of hoi polloi on the streets of Paris who revolted, but the bourgeoise class that consisted of lawyers and other affluent people who knew what ailed their then France. The middle class then chose to salvage their nation and their city.

But you the Nairobi’s middle class you have opted to watch from a distance as our city in the sun rot. This is my case against you.

I hope it won’t be said of me that my accusations are far-fetched when I say that your doings have been that of a proverbial ostrich that chooses to bury its head in the sand when the jungle fires were ravaging. You too have chosen to fix your cars with air conditioners so as not to smell the stinking stench of our city. You have even gone ahead to install state of the art shock absorbers in your cars that you no longer have to feel the bumpy rides that we experience on the pot-holed roads that now characterize our city.

Why keep on complaining about potholes on roads? Is it not cheaper to pay mechanics to install shock absorbers? Instead of complaining about security, you the middle class of Nairobi have opted for the easy way out – to live in gated communities – you’re such an ingenious lot. You even shop in malls nowadays; it saves you the hustle of having to interact with the unsophisticated mama mbogas.

Before you accuse me of standing on a moral high ground let me conclude by reminding you why I wrote this letter. I wrote to remind you that is the election year. I know that you care less about politics. You are into business and such other important stuff. It will be another moment when the county of Nairobi will be seeking another executive to govern this city. The contestant on one side of the political divide is already known. He is the high-priest of corruption who have overseen this downward spiral transformation of the city in the sun into a stinking city. He and his enablers have looted city hall coffers dry, and they are still not convinced that they are dry; they still want to continue milking. The other side of the political divide that I’m fronting is the main reason, I am writing to you. Everyone knows that the duel between Kenneth and Sonko has reached an epic proportion. It is a contest between a proven manager and a populist hoodlum who thinks that the governorship of Nairobi is another bling bling to be added to his assortment of accessories. Nairobians, give us a good manager, we beseech thee.

The contestant on one side of the political divide is already known. He is the high-priest of corruption who have overseen this downward spiral transformation of the city in the sun into a stinking city. He and his enablers have looted city hall coffers dry, and they are still not convinced that they are dry; they still want to continue milking.

The other side of the political divide that I’m fronting is the main reason, I am writing to you. Everyone knows that the duel between Kenneth and Sonko has reached an epic proportion. It is a contest between a proven manager and a populist hoodlum who thinks that the governorship of Nairobi is another bling bling to be added to his assortment of accessories. Nairobians, give us a good manager, we beseech thee.

The contestant on one side of the political divide is already known. He is the high-priest of corruption who have overseen this downward spiral transformation of the city in the sun into a stinking city. He and his enablers have looted city hall coffers dry, and they are still not convinced that they are dry; they still want to continue milking. The other side of the political divide that I’m fronting is the main reason, I am writing to you. Everyone knows that the duel between Kenneth and Sonko has reached an epic proportion.

It is a contest between a proven manager and a populist hoodlum who thinks that the governorship of Nairobi is another bling bling to be added to his assortment of accessories. Nairobians, give us a good manager, we beseech thee.

Now, why did I choose to write to you and not any other demographical group? It is because information has reached me of how you have been commenting on Twitter, that you don’t give a damn to whoever wins. That as long as you live in a gated community, and your car is air conditioned, that is all that matters to you. No, not anymore. You have to wake up from your folly and participate in the nominations. At least you people can understand that the candidacy of PK and his eventual governorship will be a huge milestone towards the realisation of Vision 2030, of a tribeless nation and a non-polarised Kenya. Tribe is hereby used to carry all the baggage it has been made to carry in Kenya.

So, Nairobi’s middle class, park your air-conditioned cars, leave the comfort of your air-conditioned gated community mansions and participate in gifting our beloved city a good manager to be the governor of our beloved city.